What happens when you don't give it your all.

Let's be honest. Everyone in this planet has put off work, important or not, because of laziness or lack of interest. But that's not what I plan to share.

Let's get specific. For the entire school year, I've received two failing grades. Physics was acceptable. I admit I was sloppy and I never attended class. I've had one too many rants about Physics. I think I've had enough. My brain, at least, deserves to not delve deeper about this matter. Wouldn't want to be talking about Thermodynamics again, wouldn't we? Well, this semester I worked my butt day and night drawing plates and exercises. Don't get me wrong, I love drawing. Freehand, that is. But when you add rules, it's like you're depriving me of what I enjoy doing. I'm a hobbyist but this is just not working out for me. Hey, I don't mind the instructions, this is Engineering. I get it, everything has to be exact and precise. One does not simply mess with accuracy. So see, I've been following scales and converting numbers. All I remember was my constant tapping on a 991ES PLUS while I was struggling with my handy pencil and t-square. You could imagine how much I perspired working in a non-air-conditioned room for a mere 3 hours in the afternoon. Considering I worked hard the whole semester, gut-filled enough not to withdraw, I failed. Indeed I failed by a 0.01 point difference. What could hurt more? Break-ups. No. This was the shit. Someone hand my instructor a Nobel prize, please. Now is a good time.

Then I figured, maybe it was lack of dedication because I never really took the discussions seriously, nor have I reviewed any hand-out given to me; Other than that, my instructor is just a 64 year old man with no heart. I prefer the latter. But either way, I knew that at some time, I lacked something which I still can't put my finger on.


My point is nothing, really. Just do everything wholeheartedly and love your courses. My main problem is I don't have even the slightest idea on how to tell my dad. When he found out I failed Physics last term, he didn't talk to me for weeks. Too disappointed that his daughter, with sky-high grades during high school, would actually fail a subject. My dad's a real disciplinarian. Conservative, too. I just don't know how to break it to him. It feels like an allowance decrease or somewhat another silent treatment. I'm out of vocabulary. T o o   s a d    t o   t y p e . . .

God guide me. Ciao.